


Show Me the Path of Love to Take

by Anika_Ann



Series: Wrapped Around Her Finger – Parent!Steve Rogers trilogy [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I’m a Trash Human Being, Like Thousands of Them, Matt Murdock is a Good Bro, Parent Steve Rogers, Pep Talk, Reader-Insert, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, single parent steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anika_Ann/pseuds/Anika_Ann
Summary: He didn’t leave their room for days. Hell, he barely moved. He knew he should shower. Shave. Leave his hideout. Go see anyone. But he couldn’t bring himself to care.His whole focus was on the little movement of his fingers, the sensation of the chain and most importantly, the smooth metal of the ring. The engraving.The first part of the sentence was on written on his own:The only battle worth fighting…. Yours was carrying the more important part; as you were from the two of them:…is the one fought together.So how do you fight the battle alone?





	Show Me the Path of Love to Take

**Author's Note:**

> Technically, this is a part of the Melting Hearts series, ‘Hell Froze Over’ to be precise, but I think it works as a standalone too. 
> 
> So, if you’re in mood for some angst….
> 
> Reader’s name is never mentioned, but she has several nicknames. 'Gerda' is one of them. Also, she had cold powers (that’s why the nickname=Snow Queen fairy tale character).

He didn’t leave their room for days.

Hell, he barely moved. He knew he should shower. Shave. Leave his fucking hideout. Go see anyone. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could have felt the thirst, the hunger. His muscles’ stiffness for being in the same position too long. He was pretty sure that he would have been able to smell himself.

But his whole focus was on the little movement of his fingers, the sensation of the chain and most importantly, the smooth metal of the ring. The engraving. The last word of it in particular, brining fresh tears to his eyes every so often. _Together_.

The first part of the sentence was on written on his own ring. _The only battle worth fighting…_

Yours was carrying the more important part; as you were from the two of them. _…is the one fought together._

Steve pressed his lips into a line to stop his jaw from trembling and pushed his fist harder against his forehead.

_So how do you fight the battle alone?_

It was the only question that mattered to him now and at the same time, it was the one question he knew he could possibly never find the answer for – not after he had learned what was it like not to fight it on his own.

Pale cold skin. Lifeless hand in his own. The picture of your empty eyes… it was burned into his brain, never leaving.

They had to drag him away – the love of his life ripped from his fingers –, after a while; the time that felt like eternity, each beat of his heart too slow and painful. He would exchange every one of those for one more moment with you.

It wasn’t the first time he had lost you. He still remembered you turning into dust right in front of his eyes, literally slipping from under his fingertips, the sensation still haunting him every now and then.

Well. Not anymore. Now he had a new nightmare.

And it was worse. Because the first time, he had something to fight. He had a villain to beat, to avenge your death and possibly reverse it. This time, he had neither.

It wasn’t a battle he could fight, let alone win. The complications came without warning and hit hard. The doctors, plural, weren’t able to beat it. Let alone one little soldier.

Steve released a shaky breath, achingly taking another gulp of air as he heard a knock on the door. He didn’t bother replying; the others had respected his need for privacy so far and left him alone.

Which was why he didn’t expect the person to actually enter.

He looked up with a frown and a mean spark in his eyes. He didn’t want to see anyone, not anyone except the one person who couldn’t come through anymore and he-

He blinked several times, stunned. In the door stood the one person he would never _expect_ to show up. Then again maybe he should have. But he didn’t know what to expect these days. The future hadn’t been in his thoughts lately; the past was occupying his mind.

“Hello, Steve.”

The man in question still stared at the newcomer, too shocked to respond, thrown off, woken from his apathy.

Shock. It was the first emotion he felt outside of grief and anger he had been drowning in for past few days, drowned and numbed.

“Take that as a yes,” the blind man murmured and for a brief moment, Steve wondered if he was missing pieces of sentences and hadn’t heard Matt Murdock ask him if he could come in. He wouldn’t be surprised at that.

Matt took a seat next to the blond man, insolently invading Steve’s and your bed. Steve turned his head wordlessly, before he decided it didn’t matter; he would have to change the sheets eventually anyway. The ring, the ring and the quote mattered, you and him being ripped apart mattered.

“There was a woman…” Matt whispered, barely audible and Steve sighed, returning his full attention to the metal in his hands, determined to ignore whatever pep-talk was about to come, closing off his ears. “Her name was Elektra. She was something else.”

Matt cleared his throat and Steve found himself listening unwillingly.

“I met her when on college and… she was the first one to understand me. The… less civilized side of me. The angry one. The one that— that needed the adrenaline rush. We met at a party and it felt like fate. With her… and only with her, I felt truly free. I felt like my heart finally started beating as if I could finally breathe, something falling into place…”

Steve gulped, not, _not_ wanting to be intrigued, the ache in his own chest overwhelming, the sudden… the sudden inability to breathe, the exact opposite of what Matt was describing, the heaviness Steve felt ever since he saw the life escaping your body-

“…like my other half, as cheesy as it sounds,” Matt huffed a short silent self-depreciating laugh, and Steve couldn’t but agree with the phrase sounding  cliché. Only if he hadn’t been feeling the same with you… “Wasn’t pretty when she left. But she came back. If I skip the whole story about her actually being a stooge of my mentor, originally aiming for deceiving me and making me forget about law school and fight instead, which I only found about later, I get to the point where-…“

Steve heard Matt’s voice falter, heard the pain in his voice, somehow enwrapped in fog of time, and his own agony only grew. The knowledge of someone else hurting the same way he did, it didn’t ease the suffocating gas in his lungs.

“-where she died.”

Steve winced at the ugly D word. The movement didn’t go unnoticed by Matt, but he continued and Steve all but fought the urge to release an irritated huff.

And now the bullshit about time healing all the wounds would come. Steve really wasn’t ready to hear it.

“I closed off. Pushed away my friends. Convinced myself I’m never putting on my suit again, because that was why Elektra—… the katana was meant for me.”

_Jesus._

Okay, why was Steve listening to this in the first place? He had a woman of his own to mourn-

“I was really, really good at it. It came all too easy, shutting everyone down. But then…” the Devil chuckled, almost too light, too bright, disturbing the atmosphere in the shared room of lovers of which one was no longer among the living. “-then this little sneaky woman came knocking. She was… for some reason, she walked straight through all the walls I built. Melted them with her cold hands.”

Steve froze, his heart positively stopping.

Was that— was he really-? Tears stung in Steve’s eyes, recalling very clearly how you could melt an icy heart that didn’t seem to be beating, not truly. You had done the same for him. Made him feel things he hadn’t thought he could, easily navigating through the maze of his feelings (missing the most important one, obviously, because you two had been blinder than Matt Murdock ever could), aiming right in the middle… and winning his heart over.

“Somehow, Gerda found her way in. I don’t know how, but… she did. Made me feel again. Made me _want to_ feel again, to fight.”

Steve let out a bitter laugh, his hand senselessly offering Matt your ring to feel the engraving, slipping off his own for the other man to feel as well. He didn’t know what possessed him to do it; he wouldn’t let go of the precious piece of you for eternity and now he just handed it to the man who had once tried to take you away from him – before you were even his.

Matt silently traced the letters, not paying too much attention. It dawned to Steve you had probably told him what was written there. You had been telling him a lot of things, the relationship between you two always making Steve jealous, because it felt like there was a kind of a connection between you and Matt that Steve and you hadn’t shared, no matter how much others you had.

The poisonous feeling now seemed so petty. What wouldn’t Steve give to feel like this once again? Seeing you smile in Matt’s presence and feel the pang of jealousy? The one smile, your special smile you only had had reserved for the blind man? He would do anything to spent one more moment like that-

God, why did it hurt so bad? Why did you have to leave? How was this fair? You, _you_ from all people, with such a big heart, so kind, so loving, so good, a wife, a moth-

Matt delicately handed the rings back and Steve fingers grasped it immediately, releasing the breath he didn’t realized he had been holding. The vigilante took off his glasses, somewhat meeting Steve’s eyes. The warm irises almost startled the soldier – he had only seen it once or twice; they didn’t hang out often, let alone were feeling loose enough to make Matt lose his glasses in front of him. Then again, it always had been in your presence and Matt had always felt relaxed around you.

“The thing is, Steve... Gerda was my friend. And eventually she helped me start fighting again. Found reason to fight – or helped me navigate and find it myself. Because that’s what I do. I fight. I need it and I’m sure you understand the feeling. I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are always things worth fighting. And you and I both know you are not alone in this and— you have one extra reason to rush into battle.”

Steve looked away, running his hand down his face. An enormous lump grew in his throat; this time not only of sorrow, but also of shame.

He did have a reason, he knew, but he wasn’t able to face her just yet. _Grace Rogers. His daughter._ He hadn’t paid her any attention outside her mother’s belly, because… because when she had been born, you had been dying at the time. And then you had left this world. He hadn’t cared about the baby, as much as he knew it was wrong; because he had lost you. _You_. How could he ever accept that?

And deep inside… he couldn’t help but blame the little girl. As he blamed himself too.

“I’m not exactly the one to give advice, but… let her in, Steve. Let your friends in too. It’s… it wouldn’t be a crime. You won’t be betraying her by allowing yourself a piece of happiness. Holding your daughter in your arms. She must be an amazing human being if she only has taken a little after her mother,” Matt whispered gently, his voice cracking.

Steve let his tears roll down his cheeks, his eyelids falling shut. He had no doubt about that. It was just… he couldn’t-

“I have it from a reliable source that her father is one hell of a man too. You need to meet such an amazing human being, Steve. It doesn’t have to be right now. Take all the time you need. But you need to realize they grow really fast. You might miss her first word before you know it.” And with those words, Matt rose to his feet, silently making his way out.

Steve’s hoarse voice stopped him in the doorway. “I’m sorry. I… I know she meant a lot to you. Not just… the woman who gave her life for yours.”

Matt wavered, releasing a shaky breath. “Yeah. I- uhm… I would like to come to… to say goodbye when you hold the ceremony.”

Steve’s chest heaved at the thought. Ceremony meant the final acceptance that there was no coming back.

“Of course,” Steve confirmed lowly, earning sorrowful smile from the other man before he turned to leave. “And, Matt? Thank you.”

The blind man just nodded and then there was a click of the door and Steve was left alone again. As he would be for the rest of his life.

With sudden rush of urgency, he sprung to his feet, his world almost swaying with the quick movement. Steve ignored it in favour not to waste any more time.

Where would they keep Grace?

\---

It was too easy – she was kept in the common room. Mostly because she never left anyone’s arms. Bucky, Natasha and Bruce were with her, the redhead cradling gently as the tiny bundle of cries wouldn’t calm down. Steve couldn’t really see the baby as Natasha kept pressing her against her chest, but the sound of distress made his heart clench uncomfortably.

“She’s hungry,” Bucky noted, earning a growl from Natasha.

“She ate half an hour ago. She cannot be hungry.”

“Why not?”

Natasha was about to respond when she caught a glimpse of Steve’s figure hesitantly standing in the doorway.

“Dunno. Why don’t you ask the father?”

Bruce’s and Bucky’s head immediately snapped Steve’s direction and at instant, the soldier wanted to spin on his heels and disappear again.

“Hey, punk. Whaddaya think? Were you a hungry baby? ‘s she taken after you?”

Steve ignored the question, alarmed at the abrupt pace in which Natasha made her way to him; with the baby still in her arms. He had a hunch she was about to hand the burden and he wanted to escape, because he was _so_ not ready for that. His heart started racing.

And then there was a human being, _a crying_ and _very tiny_ human being shoved into his arms and he automatically wrapped his hand around it, terrified he would drop her.

“Natasha-“ he blurted out startled and the spy just gave him a pointed look.

“No time like now.”

Steve swallowed loudly, hoping his heart would return from his throat to his ribcage with the action. It didn’t.

He glanced at the bundle in his arms, cautiously peeking to glimpse a red face in all the cushions. God, he was about to drop her and cause her a concussion, he was sure of it.

“Steve, the baby isn’t going to explode. You can actually hold her,” Bucky snickered, apparently highly amused at Steve’s attempts.

Steve was _not_ amused.

Because he had just seen a little red of the baby’s face, the intrusive cry still hurting his ears and he frowned, trying to readjust his hold, bringing her closer to him. Was it just his imagination, or was she crying harder now? He should definitely return her to Natasha-

Except then the tinniest hand he had even seen appeared, finding its way out of the bundle and—and it went straight to his nose, incredibly small fingers spreading over the tip.

Steve gasped, blinking in surprise at the touch. More so at the realization that hit him and made his heart swell. This little human – growing in his wife’s belly for months – was now out. And very much alive and _real_. And they touched him. His head spun and tears found a way to his eyes again, this time for a different reason.

He readjusted his hold once again, slightly pushing the white fabric away to properly look at his daughter. The moment was so surreal and so magical. Her blown orbits found his, thin circle of the most beautiful colour – the colour of _your_ eyes – around them. Few tender light hair growing on her head, cute chubby cheeks— drying, he realized. She had stopped crying.

Fascinated, he watched her stick the thumb of her free hand in her mouth. It almost looked as if she was— no, she wasn’t smiling, right?

“Look at you, Cap, still making girls speechless even with the growing beard and lumberjack vibe,” Natasha hummed, amused.

Steve didn’t pay her any attention, frowning at the baby. Was she supposed to suck on her fingers? He wanted to fix it – and he did _not_ expect her to grip his index finger in a vice.

“Oh,” he breathed out in awe, amazed smile appearing on his lips unwittingly.

She was so strong and she wanted to hold onto his finger. Incredible. Breath-taking.

“Well, hello there. Is that a handshake? What’s your name, little one? Is it Grace?” he whispered tenderly, astonished when the little girl tugged on his finger, letting go off his nose in the process and released a bubbly sound that resembled-

“Hey! Did she just laugh?” Bucky called out, hurrying to them. Steve felt his smile grow. _She did. And she was beautiful when she did so._

“Hi, Grace. I’m… I’m your dad,” Steve stuttered, his throat closing off for some reason.

Shit, this was too much. Something was building in his chest and he couldn’t name it and it was suffocating him – and he would gladly let it. Especially since it made the little lady giggle again, her curious eyes roaming his face.

“You little traitor! I’ve been changing your diapers for _days_ now and you are smiling at _him?”_ Bucky hissed, his admonishing way too fond for anyone to believe he was being serious. “I want a raise.”

“She must be reacting to his voice. He’s been the one to talk to her the most,” Bruce noted kindly, and Steve was met with his gentle smile as he looked up to the scientist for a split second – before Grace tugged at his finger impatiently, apparently offended at the lack of attention.

“Not fair. Ever since you got all boosted up with the serum, you are stealing all the girls.”

Steve’s head snapped up at the remark, realization hitting him. He had no clue where it came from, but-

“Is she eating more than usual?”

Natasha frowned. “Hard to say. I don’t think so. Why?”

“She actually might be hungry. She could have inherited my metabolism, right? I have to eat more too,” Steve whispered, almost jumping as Grace whimpered at the startled note in his voice. “Hush now, shh, Sorry to scare you, little one.”

“You’re really good with her,” Natasha praised, shooting Bruce a curious smile. “Could he be right? Why didn’t we think of it?”

“So far, there was no manifestation – but of course she has your genes. That’s brilliant.”

“I guess you were too caught in the spiderweb of her charm to actually think. Look at you, babygirl, already messing with men’s head…”

As Bruce left with Natasha to discuss the idea, Bucky slowly stepped down too, letting Steve to meet his daughter properly. The Winter Soldier couldn’t help but feel the warmth around his heart as he saw his best friend so invested in cradling the child that he barely acknowledged the others leaving, too busy keeping a goofy smile on his face. He only noticed Bucky when Grace started sniffing, demanding food again – probably.

“Buck-“

“Already on it, punk. I wouldn’t want a Rogers to starve. They can get cranky when hungry. Speaking of which, you should eat something too. And she doesn’t count,” Bucky grinned, heating up a bottle. Steve watched the process peripherally, most of his focus on Grace.

“Later.”

Bucky raised his eyebrow. “Oh wow. That was fast.”

“What?”

Bucky gestured to the baby vaguely. “She totally has you wrapped around her tiny fingers already.”

Steve felt a pang in his chest at that, knowing all too well why was that. He looked at that cute face once more, mentally bracing himself to hand her over to Bucky to let him feed her – so Steve could watch, doing it by himself next time. He tenderly caressed her cheek with his fingertip and placed the softest of kisses on her forehead. It felt so natural.

As natural as it was for Grace to win over his heart. To navigate through its confusing maze, aiming straight to the middle, earning his affections so effortlessly, without even trying. It was way too easy to figure out why and how she had done it.

“Of course she does. She is her mother’s daughter, after all.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anika_Ann being a cheeky shit and letting Matt be the first person to use the word ‘rush’ in connection to Grace (which is only funny for people reading Melting Hearts series, but never mind). Because Matt deserves the world.
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed this (little trip to the future), even if it was rather an angsty one. But hey, the fluff came too! ;)


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